Is it a night terror or a nightmare, and what do I do?
Kyra Hendrix, certified Gentle Sleep Coach® trained in the Kim West method · updated November 8, 2026
For babies from 12 to 60 months
Night terrors vs nightmares: in a night terror your child is still asleep. It usually happens within one to two hours of falling asleep, in deep sleep, and your child doesn't respond to you and remembers nothing. A nightmare comes later in the night from dream sleep; your child is really awake, seeks comfort and often remembers the dream.
Almost every parent knows that sudden screaming in the middle of the night. Both look like panic, but something completely different is happening in the brain, and that's why what works for one does exactly the wrong thing for the other.
Two different things
A night terror happens in deep non-REM sleep. Your child is still asleep. The body is active, so there's screaming, crying, sometimes even walking with eyes open, but the brain isn't awake. Kyra compares it to a computer that's updating: the screen is on, but you can't work with it.
A nightmare happens in REM sleep, dream sleep. Your child really wakes up from it, is scared, and looks for comfort.
The time gives it away
This is the fastest way to tell them apart, and it costs you nothing in the middle of the night.
A night terror usually starts within one to two hours after your child falls asleep, because that's when deep sleep happens.
A nightmare comes later in the night, in the second half, because that's when dream sleep gets longer.
The second test: does your child respond to you?
With a night terror, no. Your child barely responds to what you do or say, and comforting doesn't work. That's not a failure on your part; there's simply nobody awake to comfort.
With a nightmare, yes. Your child seeks you out, wants to be held, and can often tell you what the dream was about.
What you do then
With a night terror: don't wake your child, don't grab hold to soothe. Stay close, make sure your child doesn't get hurt, and wait for it to pass. In the morning there's no memory of it at all, so don't bring it up either.
With a nightmare: comfort right away. Hold, reassure, show that you're there. Your child is looking for safety to dare to fall back asleep.
It passes on its own
Kyra's reassurance: children usually grow out of this on their own, and it's part of development. You're not doing anything wrong.
What does raise the chance of night terrors is overtiredness. If the day isn't going well, look at the rhythm: for a toddler that's the afternoon nap, and for a baby the wake windows by age.
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