Sleep guides
Everything about baby and toddler sleep
Practical sleep guides for parents of babies and children up to 5 years
Articles on naps, wake windows, night feeds, sleep regressions and more. Written from the course by certified Gentle Sleep Coach Kyra Hendrix.
How old is your baby?
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- How long can a baby stay awake? Wake windows by age any age Wake windows by age, from 45 minutes for a newborn to 5.5 hours for a toddler, and why you watch the wake window and your baby's cues rather than the clock.
- Why does your baby sleep badly during a Wonder Weeks leap? any age Ten mental leaps in twenty months, and waking up again every time. How to tell you're in a leap, which leaps hit sleep hardest, and what to do at night.
- What does a day with a baby look like? any age Wake windows and sleep needs for every phase: from 45 minutes awake and 4 to 6 naps for a newborn to 3.5 to 5.5 hours and 1 to 2 naps for a young toddler.
How baby sleep works
Why a baby can't yet do what you ask of them.
- Can you spoil a baby by responding too much? any age Can you spoil a baby by picking them up too often? No. Why responding builds secure attachment, the circle of security, and what responding means for sleep.
- Why can't my baby calm themselves down? any age At birth only about 25 percent of the brain is developed, and only the survival layer is on. Why your baby can't self-soothe yet, and why you're the calm.
- Am I teaching my baby bad habits if I help them fall asleep? 0 to 4 mo Rocking, feeding or carrying your baby to sleep doesn't create bad habits. Why your baby can't do it alone yet, and how sleep shaping differs from coaching.
- How do you build secure attachment with your baby? any age Secure attachment grows in the circle of trust: your baby signals, you respond. Why the first eighteen months matter, and why you respond first, think after.
- How much tummy time does a baby need? 3 to 6 mo Aim for about 90 minutes of tummy time a day, spread over short practice moments. Why it helps sleep, what to do if your baby hates it, and when it pays off.
The rhythm of the day
Wake windows, rhythm and how the evening starts.
- How long should a bedtime routine take? any age Twenty minutes, thirty at most, the same order every evening and three to four steps. Why the bath belongs in it, and why a fixed clock time often fails.
- My baby has day and night mixed up, what do I do? 0 to 2 mo A newborn has no internal clock yet, so you are that clock. Never let your baby sleep longer than three hours in a row during the day, and keep nights boring.
- When does a baby get a regular rhythm? 0 to 4 mo In the third month, an emerging rhythm appears: not a schedule with clock times, but a predictable wave that you steer from the moment your baby wakes up.
- Should my baby go to bed earlier, and how do I do that? 2 to 4 mo If your baby wakes up cranky from the last nap around three months, bedtime is too late. Move the whole routine 15 minutes earlier each evening, toward 7:00.
- How much sleep does a 4 month old need? around 4 mo About 10 to 11 hours at night and 4 to 5 hours during the day, spread over three to four naps, with a wake window of about two hours at most in between.
- How do you adjust your child's sleep when the clock goes back an hour? any age Your child's body thinks it's an hour later. From Wednesday, move bedtime and naps 15 minutes later each day, and by Sunday everything runs on the clock again.
- How do you adjust your child's sleep when the clock goes forward an hour? any age When the clocks spring forward, you gain an hour in the morning. Two ways: 15 minutes earlier each day for four to five days, or follow the new clock at once.
- How do you get twins on the same sleep rhythm? any age First a week of tracking who wakes whom, then syncing the rhythms. Why together or apart isn't right or wrong, and why you coach both twins at the same time.
Daytime naps
Why they stay so short, and how to stretch one.
- Why does your baby only nap for 30 minutes? any age A baby sleep cycle lasts 40 to 60 minutes and ends in light sleep. What happens at that transition, why your baby calls for you, and what to do in that minute.
- How do you extend a short nap? 0 to 4 mo Go in just before your baby wakes up, and help them through the transition by patting or rocking. If it doesn't work within ten minutes, simply let it go.
Feeding
How much your little one needs, and how you know it's enough.
- How much milk should my baby drink? 0 to 6 mo The rule of thumb for formula is weight in kilos times 150 milliliters per 24 hours, divided by the number of feeds. A newborn feeds 8 to 12 times a day.
- My baby keeps getting distracted while feeding, what now? 4 to 6 mo Around four months, the world gets too interesting to feed calmly. What your baby misses by day gets made up at night. Feed in a quiet room, light dimmed.
- Why does my baby want to feed all the time in the evening? 1 to 3 mo Cluster feeding is normal around the second month, and it doesn't mean you have too little milk: your baby is filling up for the night and a growth spurt.
- How do I know if my baby is drinking enough? first month Four things tell you: eight or more feeds per 24 hours, audible swallowing, six or more wet diapers a day, and a growth curve that keeps going up over time.
- When to stop the bottle, and how to do it without hurting sleep? 1 to 2.5 yrs Start with the lunch bottle and replace those calories with food. Why a cup helps sooner rather than later, and where the 15-month mark really comes from.
Feeding and the night
Why the day decides how the night goes.
- Your baby feeds more at night than during the day: how do you turn that around? 2 to 4 mo Reverse cycling: your baby catches up at night on what they miss during the day. Why it often starts around three months, and how to flip day and night.
- How do you drop night feeds? from 4 mo Night weaning starts after the 4 month regression, with the day in order first. Then make each night feed a little smaller until only comfort is left.
- What is a dream feed, and how do you give one? 1 to 4 mo An extra feed just before you go to sleep yourself, between ten and midnight. The goal: stretch the first sleep stretch of the night, so you sleep longer too.
Crying
What your baby tells you before crying, and what you can do.
- What is purple crying? 0 to 4 mo A peak of unexplained crying around two months. Why it happens, how long it lasts, and what you do when nothing works anymore, including a plan made beforehand.
- What does my baby's crying mean? 0 to 3 mo Crying is the last signal, not the first. The early and middle cues per need, so you can respond before the crying starts, and two questions that solve most.
- When can a baby self-soothe? 2 to 4 mo Around the third month, a baby discovers their hands: the first step toward self-regulation. Wait a moment before the pacifier and see if the hands get found.
- How do I calm my crying baby? any age Don't try five things in a row. Pick one, give it time, and see whether your baby calms down from it. Switching too fast can actually make things more restless.
Stimulation and temperament
Why one baby sleeps through anything and another doesn't.
- How do you recognize an overstimulated baby? any age An overstimulated baby often seems to sleep peacefully but is shutting down. The signs, why it's strongest in the first eight weeks, and what to do about it.
- What is an alert baby, and how do you help them sleep? 0 to 4 mo Twenty to twenty-five percent of babies are born intense. What an alert baby is, how to recognize one, what they need, and how to step in before it's too late.
- What temperament does my baby have? from 4 mo Why the same sleep training works in three nights for one child and not for another. The three temperaments, ten questions, and what it means for you.
- What is the three o'clock rule for babies? any age The baby witching hour falls in the busiest hours at home. Kyra's three o'clock rule: from 3 p.m. to about 7, make your baby's world calmer, step by step.
Why the night changes
The regression, the leaps and the milestones.
- What is the 4 month sleep regression? 3 to 5 mo The 4 month sleep regression isn't a step back: your baby's sleep cycle is changing. Why nights break up, and Kyra's four steps: wait, calm, give space, repeat.
- Why does your baby wake up at 5 am every morning? any age The hardest hour of the night, and not by chance. Why sleep pressure is nearly gone at 5 am, what to do right then, and what to change during the day.
- My baby rolls over in the crib, what now? 3 to 6 mo Babies start rolling around four months and get frustrated when they can't roll back. Practice 45 to 60 minutes a day, spread over short play moments.
- Why is my baby sleeping badly since learning something new? any age Restless nights are often a sign of healthy development. What your baby learns during the day gets practiced at night, and that starts a few days ahead.
- When do babies sleep through the night, or at least longer? 0 to 4 mo Around eight weeks, the first longer night stretch of four to five hours can come. Then the morning nap settles around week 12, the afternoon one by week 16.
- Is your baby sleeping badly because of teething? 0.5 to 2.5 yrs Most babies get their first tooth around 6 months, some already at 4. How to tell teething pain from something else, what really helps, and what to do at night.
- Should you drop the sleep routine when your baby is sick? any age No. During illness, a familiar routine gives the most security. Add extra comfort, but keep the basics, and afterwards wind that comfort back down step by step.
- At what ages do sleep regressions happen, and are there really that many? any age Only one changes sleep itself: the one at four months. The rest are leaps and milestones that pass on their own. Why that difference matters for what you do.
- Why does my baby suddenly cry when I leave the room? 5 to 18 mo Around five months, separation anxiety shows up: your baby cries the moment you leave. What that crying means, what doesn't work, and the goodbye that does.
The bedroom
How the room can help instead of working against you.
- How do you set up a baby's bedroom? any age An empty crib, always on the back, 16 to 18 °C (61 to 64 °F) and completely dark. The safety rules, and the settings that really do make sleep better.
- Until when can you swaddle a baby? 0 to 4 mo Stop swaddling as soon as your baby shows signs of rolling, usually in the fourth month. Swaddled, your baby can no longer turn back over from the tummy.
- Is co-sleeping with your baby safe, and how do you do it right? 0 to 12 mo Co-sleeping isn't wrong, as long as it's done safely. The three forms of sleeping close by, the checklist that goes with them, and how to move on if you want.
- How do I keep sleep somewhat intact on vacation? any age A later bedtime doesn't mean sleeping in later. Kyra's vacation rule is 80 percent routine and 20 percent flexibility, and you pack your blackout too.
- What should my baby wear at night? 0 to 18 mo The right TOG and layers per room temperature. Why the chest and neck are the best gauge, and why cold little hands tell you nothing about being cold.
- Why does my baby sleep at home but not somewhere else? any age Another room, other sounds, other light. Why you should start small, what to bring along, and why your child needs more time to wind down in a new place.
Falling asleep independently
The gentle steps toward it, and when to start.
- When is a baby ready for sleep training? from 4 mo The earliest time to start sleep training is after the 4 month regression, for some babies around six months. Kyra's three pillars that must be in place first.
- My baby only falls asleep on me. What now? from 3 mo If your baby only sleeps on you, that's one learned route, not a bad habit. Kyra's switcheroo swaps one sleep prop for another, practiced at one easy moment.
- What is the Super Slow Shuffle? from 4 mo The Super Slow Shuffle is gentle sleep training in four steps: shift how you comfort slowly, move it to the crib, then step back. The slower, the fewer tears.
- Why isn't sleep training working for us? from 4 mo Sleep training not working usually has one cause: responding only sometimes. Why that confuses your baby and how to pick an approach you can really keep up.
- What does drowsy but awake mean? any age Drowsy but awake is the dozy state between awake and asleep, one of six states your baby goes through daily. How to spot it, and why crying is always too late.
- Why does what used to help suddenly stop working? 3 to 5 mo When your baby won't sleep anymore like they used to, that's a leap forward, not a step back. What changed around month four, and how to give room to practice.
- When and how do you wean your child off the pacifier? 12 to 24 mo Weaning only becomes necessary around 15 to 18 months. Why stopping earlier rarely needs to happen, and the two routes when the pacifier keeps falling out.
- What is the Sleep Lady Shuffle, and how does it work? from 4 mo Kim West's method: you stay present and move your chair in five steps from the crib to out of sight. You move when there's progress, not by the calendar.
- Which sleep training method fits our family? from 4 mo From fading and pick up put down to Ferber and cry it out: the methods on one line from a lot to little involvement, and how to choose what fits your family.
Toddlers and preschoolers
From one year: one more book, getting out of bed, and screaming at night.
- Why won't my toddler sleep, and what do I do about "one more book"? 1.5 to 2.5 yrs Your toddler won't sleep and keeps asking for one more book? Why stalling starts now, why later bedtimes backfire, and how to keep the same limit nightly.
- Is it a night terror or a nightmare, and what do I do? 1 to 5 yrs Night terrors vs nightmares: the clock and one test tell them apart. Why you don't wake your child in a night terror, but comfort right away after a nightmare.
- When does the afternoon nap stop, and how do you phase it out? 1.5 to 5 yrs Most children drop their last nap between three and five years old. How to shorten it first, swap it for quiet time, and move bedtime earlier without a nap.
- When do you switch from a crib to a big bed? 1.5 to 5 yrs Wait until your child sleeps well before switching from crib to bed. Why a bed too early adds battles, the one exception, and what belongs with the switch.
- What do I do when my toddler keeps getting out of bed? 1.5 to 5 yrs Safety first, then the limit. Why calmly walking your toddler back every time without discussion works, and why a big bed too early leads to more struggle.
- My toddler is afraid of the dark and of monsters. What do I do? 1.5 to 5 yrs Toddler fears don't come out of nowhere: imagination is growing. How to acknowledge the fear without feeding it, Kyra's five steps, and what helps in the room.
- How do you stop the endless stalling at bedtime? 2.5 to 5 yrs The bedtime pass is one card your child can trade once, after goodnight, for one extra request. Why it stops the negotiating and how to introduce it at home.
- Why is my toddler sleeping worse since we started potty training? 1.5 to 5 yrs Potty training during the day carries over into the night: more resistance, stalling and night waking. Why that happens, and the clear limits that help.
For you
Because this asks something of you too, and that matters.
- I'm exhausted. How do I keep going? any age Exhausted as a new parent? This week, pick one moment when you're off duty. Why self-care is baby care, three small ways to do it, and what you can let go.
- What can you expect in the first month with a baby? first month In the first month with a newborn, only two things really matter: looking after yourself and getting to know your baby. What you can let go, and what to build.