What do I do when my toddler keeps getting out of bed?

As soon as a child can get out of bed on their own, bedtime changes character. It's no longer a matter of falling asleep but of staying in bed, and that's a different problem.

Safety first, then the habit

If your toddler climbs out of a crib, that's dangerous first of all. Remove anything that can be climbed on, put the mattress at the lowest setting, and make sure the room itself is safe for someone walking through it at night.

Only once that's in place do you start working on the behavior.

Walk them back calmly, without discussion

This is Kyra's whole answer, and it's shorter than people hope: walk your child back calmly, without discussion.

No explanations in the middle of the night, no negotiating, no angry reaction. That sounds harsh, but it's the opposite: every conversation is attention, and attention at the moment of getting up makes getting up worth it.

Count on doing this often the first evenings. It works through repetition, not through the one time you do it right.

Why a big bed usually makes this worse

Many parents take the step to a big bed precisely because of this problem, hoping it gets calmer. Kyra recommends exactly the opposite.

Her rule: wait with the big bed until your child already sleeps well. If you do sleep coaching in a big bed while your child doesn't sleep through yet and gets out a lot, you create unnecessary struggle. See when to move to a big bed.

The exception is safety. If the climbing gets really dangerous, the switch is sensible after all, and clear limits belong with it right away.

Where it comes from

A child who won't stay in bed rarely does so out of unwillingness. It's usually stalling, separation anxiety, or a child who doesn't quite understand what's expected. All three ask for the same thing: explain beforehand, and then keep the limit the same.

If the stalling is mostly in the line of one more drink and one more book, start with the toddler who won't sleep.