When to stop the bottle, and how to do it without hurting sleep?

The bottle is comfort and convenience at the same time, and that makes letting go hard. Still, it isn't the milk that has to go, only the bottle.

Why you let go of the bottle

Kyra names four pillars, and none of them is about rushing.

The first is teeth. Milk sugars cause tooth decay, and that's especially true for a bottle right before sleep: then the sugar sits on the teeth all night. That's also why the advice is to brush the teeth from the very start.

The second is appetite. Milk is filling, and a child who drinks a lot of milk is less hungry for solid food. Many parents worry about that: their child already sleeps badly, so they want to be sure there are enough nutrients. The milk doesn't have to go; there's just less of it. That makes room for other food, and the need for it really develops.

The third is attachment. You want to avoid the bottle becoming your child's emotional anchor. A cuddly toy, a little blanket or the pacifier can take over that role just fine.

The fourth affects sleep directly: as long as the bottle is needed to fall asleep, your child depends on it. The bottle is meant as food, not as a sleep association.

When to stop the bottle: the fifteen-month mark

Around fifteen months, you want this process finished. Children who are truly attached to the bottle are usually fifteen months or older.

Do you recognize these three signs?

Already past fifteen months? Watch for three things:

• The bottle is the last security object your child has.
• Your child needs the bottle when tired, stressed or to fall asleep.
• Your child carries the bottle everywhere during the day.

If you recognize this, the first step is lighter than you think: limit the bottle to feeding times only. No more walking around all day with a bottle in hand. Only after that do you start the real weaning.

Start with the cup

The first step isn't taking something away but adding something: a cup of their own, from about twelve months. During the day the milk goes in that cup, and you choose what fits: a straw cup, a sippy cup or an open cup.

Do pick one your child loves. Puppies, princesses, whatever appeals. That's not a bonus but the heart of this step: that way the attachment moves along from the bottle to the cup. The milk stays; only the packaging around it changes. So weaning off the bottle starts with adding something.

Start at lunch

This is Kyra's order, and it's on purpose. The lunch bottle is the easiest moment to start.

Give that milk in the cup and then wait four to seven days before you continue. Replace the calories of that midday bottle with something else.

Then dinner, then the morning

Step two is dinner. So stopping the bottle goes feed by feed, not all at once. There you replace the bottle with real food, and you can give an extra snack just before bed.

Step three is the morning bottle. After waking up, go downstairs right away, start the day calmly and give the milk with breakfast. Otherwise the expectation stays that a bottle comes right away, and that's a strong association. In theory, that morning bottle also keeps early waking going.

When to stop the bedtime bottle: last of all

Step four is bedtime, and it's last for a reason. Kyra works it out in six steps:

1. Announce it two to three days ahead. Say it positively, at a moment when your child is well rested.
2. Offer a little less each time: 60 ml less every two days.
3. Once you're down to 90 ml, switch to water in a cup.
4. Take the bottle out of the bedtime routine and out of the house completely. You can make a little ritual of that goodbye.
5. Brush the teeth.
6. Keep the rest of the bedtime routine the same.

The bottle goes; the routine stays.

The night is a separate path

Weaning night feeds is something different from weaning the bottle, with its own approach and its own pace. That's described separately: night weaning.

The rule that makes the difference

When you stop, really stop: throw the bottles away. The spare bottles in the car and in the diaper bag too. It sounds extreme, but this is exactly where it goes wrong: at four in the morning, or in the middle of a huge tantrum, a bottle that's still there is a bottle you give.

Expect the first nights to be a bit harder. Stay calm and really stick to the same approach for four to seven days, including how you respond at night. Yes one time and no the next is only confusing for your child.

Give it time. Small steps make a big difference.