How do you drop night feeds?

There comes a moment when you think: is that 3 a.m. feed still really needed, or has it become a habit?

That's a good question, and the answer doesn't start at night.

Before four months, night feeds aren't a habit but calories that are needed, and then reverse cycling is the piece you're looking for.

First the day, then the night

This is the order Kyra sticks to, and flipping it is the most common mistake. If you feed less at night while the day isn't in order, you're simply taking away calories that are needed.

Step 1: a fixed start to the day. Start every morning around the same time, even after a rough night. 8 a.m. at the latest. If you start later, the naps shift, bedtime shifts, and the snowball keeps rolling.

Step 2: fill the tanks. Enough full feeds during the day, and enough daytime sleep. A baby who takes in too little during the day makes up for it at night. It's that simple.

Step 3: rhythm and wake windows. From about four months, at most two hours awake between naps, and at most two hours before bedtime too. That prevents overtiredness.

Is it time?

Two things need to be right before you start on the night.

Growth. This isn't a side issue. If your baby is growing well and their weight is healthy for their age, that's the sign there's room. Discuss it with your pediatrician before you take feeds away. We can't judge that from here.

The pattern. Is your baby still really asking for food at night, or do a few sips go in and then sleep follows right away? That second one points to comfort, not hunger.

The weaning plan

Gradually, one feed at a time.

1. Start with a dream feed

Give a feed before midnight, during sleep. That lengthens the first stretch and pushes hunger to later in the night.

2. Shrink the next feeds

You make each following night feed smaller step by step. With the bottle that's in milliliters, at the breast in minutes. A little bit at a time, over several nights.

That way the body gets used to less, instead of suddenly having nothing.

3. Comfort only

Once you've got down to a very small feed, you drop it and offer only comfort at that moment. So you stop a night feed at the point when almost nothing was going in anyway. Usually that's the last step, and usually it's smaller than you feared.

Patience is the work here

This is about nights, not one night. You don't take everything away at once, and you don't let your baby cry it out either. You make the hunger a little smaller each night and let the body move along with it. Sleeping through without a feed comes out of that on its own, not from skipping a night.

And if it doesn't work for a while: the next phase isn't going anywhere.

What a dream feed is exactly and how to give one is in the dream feed.