When does a baby get a regular rhythm?

In the first weeks, there seems to be no line at all in the day. That's right, and it isn't something you can force. A routine can't be imposed in these weeks, only built up slowly. But there does come a moment when the fog lifts, and that moment is fairly easy to point out.

What changes when

Around six to eight weeks, feeds gradually get more predictable and longer sleep blocks appear at the start of the evening. That's usually the first thing you notice: the evening gets calmer, and bedtime slowly shifts toward a normal hour. So predictability starts at the end of the day, not the beginning.

In the third month, a rhythm appears. You recognize the signals better, you get a feel for the wake windows and feeds, and you can steer the day from the moment your baby wakes up in the morning.

Note the word rhythm. This is not a schedule with clock times, and those aren't coming either. It's a predictable wave: awake, nap, feed and play, another nap. That's enough to plan your day around.

Why nights get more restless in month three

In that very same month, something contradictory can happen: the rhythm arrives, but nights get more restless. That isn't a setback.

The senses take a leap. Your baby suddenly smells and hears much better, and that works straight through into sleep. If you sleep in the same room, your baby now notices you much more clearly and wakes up from it more often.

Two things help against that:

• Move the crib a bit farther from your own bed, so your baby notices less of you when you go to bed.
• Use white noise, which masks sudden sounds in the house.

In this phase your baby also gets more sensitive to light, so blackout starts to make more of a difference from now on. See how to set up the nursery.

What you see emerging meanwhile

Movements become more deliberate, and those are the first small steps toward self-regulation. Your baby turns the head away when something is too much, too bright or too loud, and gets the hands to the mouth more easily to suck on. That last one is a bigger step than it looks: see learning to self-soothe.

What isn't there yet: the emotional brain. It only gets going around four to six months, and only then is falling asleep independently a realistic question. Until then your help is needed to fall asleep, and that isn't a bad habit but the state of things. See why a baby can't calm down yet.

No longer nights yet?

No panic, and don't force anything. Go back to the basics:

• Keep bedtime predictable.
• Try to keep the wake-up time a little the same.
• Help your baby with the difference between day and night: during the day lots of time outside and active play, toward evening calm. See day and night confusion.

What you can let go of in this phase: sleep coaching, perfect long naps, and the worry that you're creating bad habits. That's too early now. Development is fluid, and every baby follows their own pace.

When nights really get longer is in when your baby sleeps longer in a row.